Confession
Tomorrow i am gonna have the 1st exam of my 7th semester of b.tech. But not feeling like studying. Thought to play with keyboard and typing.... and some of thoughts prevailing my mind now...
life, complexity... and relations again the trio that makes me crazy always.... may be you too. but just can't escape.
Childhood was more easier... because the way of thinking was simpler, with time, innocence is gone(?), patience is disturbed and i am lost somewhere in a series of questions....... more drawn to past, mistakes and the great unanswered question "WHY I DID THIS?" and missing the magic of present and ruining my future too... can't get rid of this?
how?
confession?
but to whom?
to myself?
OK, it works partially, but not totally.......
TO WHOM IT CONCERNS,
after spending 22 years of my life, all i have come to know about myself is i am a kinda complicated person, i admit, but not too bad, often i fail to make people understood what i think and want and often it leads to misunderstanding..
and there are lots of misunderstanding with a few people who once used to be close to my heart but now don't..... i have fault but not totally, all are just some bad timing and bad happening but ending to something good.....
but still i feel some kind of responsibilities to clear out myself to them but it's not possible to do it individually..... i tried but damn emotions again come into picture and ruins everything......
in some cases i felt lack of space, transparency, etc. and at the end i felt suffocated and i ended it... it's not like i wanted it that way, but i thought it's better to stop than keep walking to go nowhere....
some made me choose between me and my dreams, and i choose my dream, my dream is something damn important to me and i think who doesn't understand it's importance to me at least the person doesn't understand me.... so doesn't worth to be with me.....
i have walked lonely roads a lot and crowded streets too but it's really painful to walk lonely with someone beside you holding your hand, so i choose my pockets for my hand.
that's it but in the course of being with these wrong people with whom i did not fit in either way, i have hurt myself a lot and somehow lost myself, now wanna get me back, and as a first step of that..... don't wanna bear any grudge, blaim or anything related to past......
i am happy with my present and wanna be happy with my future too.. so goodbye all bad memories, if you want to keep them with you then it's all right but keep them with you at your own risk... i m not responsible with them anymore......
all i know i was not happy in any cases, and if i am not happy then how you could be happy be being with an unhappy person, so i ENDED UP.... and i am clear to myself.
now i am free with my wings... you try to be happy too.
life, complexity... and relations again the trio that makes me crazy always.... may be you too. but just can't escape.
Childhood was more easier... because the way of thinking was simpler, with time, innocence is gone(?), patience is disturbed and i am lost somewhere in a series of questions....... more drawn to past, mistakes and the great unanswered question "WHY I DID THIS?" and missing the magic of present and ruining my future too... can't get rid of this?
how?
confession?
but to whom?
to myself?
OK, it works partially, but not totally.......
TO WHOM IT CONCERNS,
after spending 22 years of my life, all i have come to know about myself is i am a kinda complicated person, i admit, but not too bad, often i fail to make people understood what i think and want and often it leads to misunderstanding..
and there are lots of misunderstanding with a few people who once used to be close to my heart but now don't..... i have fault but not totally, all are just some bad timing and bad happening but ending to something good.....
but still i feel some kind of responsibilities to clear out myself to them but it's not possible to do it individually..... i tried but damn emotions again come into picture and ruins everything......
in some cases i felt lack of space, transparency, etc. and at the end i felt suffocated and i ended it... it's not like i wanted it that way, but i thought it's better to stop than keep walking to go nowhere....
some made me choose between me and my dreams, and i choose my dream, my dream is something damn important to me and i think who doesn't understand it's importance to me at least the person doesn't understand me.... so doesn't worth to be with me.....
i have walked lonely roads a lot and crowded streets too but it's really painful to walk lonely with someone beside you holding your hand, so i choose my pockets for my hand.
that's it but in the course of being with these wrong people with whom i did not fit in either way, i have hurt myself a lot and somehow lost myself, now wanna get me back, and as a first step of that..... don't wanna bear any grudge, blaim or anything related to past......
i am happy with my present and wanna be happy with my future too.. so goodbye all bad memories, if you want to keep them with you then it's all right but keep them with you at your own risk... i m not responsible with them anymore......
all i know i was not happy in any cases, and if i am not happy then how you could be happy be being with an unhappy person, so i ENDED UP.... and i am clear to myself.
now i am free with my wings... you try to be happy too.
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